That is one of BigOne’s favorite sayings: Words Hard. Another one? Words change.

Both of these are true, although I admit I get annoyed with his attitude about words since he does quite well in all of his writing and literature classes.

During our recent family road trip during spring break, both BigOne and LittleOne started in on me that being conservative was bad. LittleOne particularly likes to ask a question in a way to start an argument^[1]. We were listening to NPR, and I don’t remember what started the conversation, but I do remember the lecture I gave these two lovely children. It started with, “Before you label something good or bad, you need to think about what it means and not how it gets portrayed in the media^[2].

As I was the one driving, I could not grab my slab of all knowledge^[3] to check the denotations, but I did feel fairly confident with the two words I wanted to discuss with them. What does conservative mean and what does liberal mean? I am not talking about politics. I am talking about what the words mean before you put them in a context.

Now that I am back with my laptop, I can confirm I was right.

Conservative, according to Merriam-Webster, was first used about politics in 1815^[4]. However, the root of the word is from Latin and Old French. It means to guard, to observer, to preserve. When a person conserves resources or tries to maintain the current state, they are being conservative. I like to think of it in the thought of husbanding resources to maximize safety. For me, it is about an action. Conserving means to spend things when it is time to spend them, and to use resources wisely. Wisely, implies, you know what the result will be.

So, I chastised my children, conserving resources means you know what you will have. It provides stability. It is using methods that have worked before so you can predict the outcome.

Liberal, on the other hand, when traced back to its roots, is from Latin to be a freeman. Other definitions go on about generosity and free flowing resources. I think, from the Merriam-Webster website, my favorite definition is not opposed to new ideas or ways of behaving. In my mind’s eye I see free to change, free to try new things, free to take a risk.

In the car, these are basically the definitions I presented, which I assert are valid, are why I get frustrated when political commentary try to paint one party or the other as ALWAYS being conservative or ALWAYS being liberal. That ALWAYS does not relate to ALL of the definitions of the words^[5].

I challenged the kids that instead of asking me what is wrong with “Liberals” or “Conservatives”, think about times when they wanted to take chances and times when they wanted to reserve what they had for better use later. For example, we conserve our cash and eat at home so we can get extra ice-cream out while on the road trip.

I don’t think they bought it. I do think they thought about it.

All of my complaining about not knowing how to parent during a pandemic and not understanding the consequences of my actions shows just how conservative, in the definition above, I am. I like determinism and once I find patterns that work, I want them to continue to work. You experiment to find the solution, but then you stick with the solution.

Sort of.

The life lesson that doesn’t make itself obvious is that cause and effect can be hard to see. If I sprinkle salt on my head every night before I shower, and I don’t get COVID-19, does that mean that the salt is preventing it?

My father, many years ago, said of one of my sisters, that she would become conservative as she grew older. I remember being very angry at his judgmental attitude. Now, if I stick with my definitions, I kind of think everyone becomes more conservative (in my sense) as they age because we learn the tricks that have the outcomes we want. Since if we like the outcomes and we know what resources to spend to get them, it makes it easy to fall into the pattern to try and get more. That is just human nature. 

Here is a radical thought: we can only be successful, long term, if we balance when we are conservative and when we are liberal. We each need to do both to be sure we pick the right algorithms to get our desired results^[6].

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^[1] I may be raising a future lawyer.

^[2] It is not that I think mainstream media is bad. It is more that I believe starting with the denotation helps frame a discussion.

^[3] Also known as a smart phone.

^[4] Yes, I am picking my definitions to make my argument. There are many definitions and usages on the website. However, the definition I was looking for was there all along.

^[5] No wonder it is so hard to learn English.

^[6] Yes, I do understand I like using the footnotes too much.